wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
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She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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