Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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