WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
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