GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
