You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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