This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
