party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
