this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
