just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
