so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You need Xanax blowdarts
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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