yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i dont even know how to be here
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
