he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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