No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
