Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
