I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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