did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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