I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
