I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
