That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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