Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize