Don't you send me to vm
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
