my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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