Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
