i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize