i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
