"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
