I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize