Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
