there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
