i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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