I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
