I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
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The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
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I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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