Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
as a side note pls kill me
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
