I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
high people should be assigned attendants
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
