me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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