Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
