he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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