It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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