You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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