Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
