Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
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you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
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Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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