i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
