then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I think i got beer on your cat.
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