Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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