He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You ruined the universe
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
