why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
