Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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