So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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