I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
