What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
