The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
