Duck Duck Cougar?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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