I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
