just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize