In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
It's just like the Real World with babies
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
