How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
