Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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