went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
