if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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