Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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