To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
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its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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