first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
