worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
