Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
