So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
