Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
