actually, I'm a sock model
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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